Every now and then, there comes along an athlete that inspires the champion in all of us. One who raises the bar for all those around them, and does so in a manner of class and style.

But even rarer are those who climb to the top of the pantheon in face paint, screaming about the sacrifice that Cthulhu made to stop the bats living in his scrotum from achieving the lasers of eternity.

Garbage Day’s Tribute To The Sheer Fucking Lunacy Of The Ultimate Warrior!

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“GodDAMNIT!” I scream, breaking the silence of Mogan’s meditative indoor water/rock garden. “The fucking Stereo MC’s turned me down too! How in the hell is Garbage Day supposed to get a music section off the ground if we can’t even get musicians to talk to us?”

The serenity of trickling water rolling off of sculpted quartz returns to the room and Mogan contemplates my dilemma. After what seems like an eternity of waiting, he looks me dead in the eyes and quietly responds: “have you tried looking up Snow?”

“Snow? You mean the rapper from the early nineties?”

Mogan nods his head.

“Well fuck. Why not.” I hop online and start to look for Snow’s last known address. Mogan goes about his daily chants and incense burning rituals.

“And dude, where did you get all this hippy shit from? We’ve got nothing in the budget as is…”

“Shhhhhhh.” I can see I’m clearly interrupting his wakening of the third eye.

As I leave the room, yet one more drop of wisdom is dispelled on me from my writing partner.

“The Inuit have many names for snow. It is your task to find the essence of a force of nature, hidden within a man’s soul. I stole all this shit from Bed, Bath and Beyond.”

Garbage Day’s Fireside Chat With Snow!

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Throughout history, the standards of beauty in women have changed. Whether it be a hefty gal with child-bearing hips or a 80 pound coke waif with a cups and a sullen disposition, women have had to adjust themselves accordingly for societal norms.

In the early 90′s, a new standard came about. Fueled by mass media and popular song, I grew up in a generation that praised comically huge asses. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. So let’s take an in-depth and scholarly look back at

The Best Songs Ever Written (About Asses)!

this is where poop comes from!

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Every Sunday (or whenever he feels like it) Mark Bubb muses on the important things in life and posts them over on his facebook group. I  then host S.A.R.T. over at Garbage Day and add funny images. Think of it as getting left on the alter. But funny!

Do you know what the worst sound in the world is? When you are taking a shower and you here the water in the pipes change tone. It only can mean one thing, your dick is about to be melted off, or frozen into a dickcicle.

FUUUUUUUUUUCK

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